As Chinese president Xi Jinping addressed the Davos world economic forum earlier this month, mainstream press, free trade conservatives and members of the globalist left were quick to throw themselves to the ground and lavish praise upon the leader of the world’s largest communist authoritarian state.

His subtle rebuke of Donald Trump was commended highly, as was the solemn pledge given to the movers and shakers of the 1%; the makeover Mao dynasty shall become the new leader of the globalist economic and political movement worldwide, in the absence of a Trump led America rediscovering its independent and rebellious roots. Yacht owners and private jet occupiers rejoiced in the shadow of a presidential election claimed to be a firm denouncement of their own policies.

Former US Secretary of State John Kerry announced to the appreciative audience; “So ladies and gentlemen, the world is not witnessing global gridlock. We are not frozen in a nightmare that we can’t wake up from. The facts and the lessons are clear: If we stay at it, if we stay serious, if we’re willing to work in good faith to resolve problems, not create them, then we can make progress.”

What a sigh of relief, it seems. That was a close one.

It’s clear that confidence is high and morale is good, despite minor disruptions. Free thinking peasants exercising discontent at the ballot box are merely speed bumps along the road to global progress.

Still, you can never be too careful. The worlds elite building armored bunkers and redoubts provide great examples as to how one should prepare for the coming alleged golden age of globalism and international cooperation.

And who could possibly oppose the idea of China leading the way into a new and wonderful progressive future for all?

Those once highly principled conservative forces of the west needn’t fret over the new direction being plotted. Take a deep breath in downtown Beijing, Soon to be the new global example, which all should follow, it’s like smoking 40 cigarettes a day.

Ahhhh, sure smells like prosperity to me.

In the past, economic leaders on the libertarian/capitalist right advocated now antiquated notions like free association and personal liberty, as a means of extracting wealth and mutual benefit between worker and employee. However, since the invention of the factory suicide net, such piddling moral concerns and ethical frameworks are indeed a thing of the past.

Comrades! Workers of the world unite! A new dawn of growth and fortune is upon us!

Developed nations following the Chinese model for employee relations globally, will ensure nobody is left behind, not even the labourers attempting suicide to protest their utopia on the factory floor.

Builders around the west also stand to benefit from the red dragon spreading its wings, igniting the flames of free trade with its incendiary breath, and bellowing the sounds of economic growth with banshee like shrill. The poor quality of Chinese steel allows for multiple rebuilds of the same project. After the communist steel mills have all but decimated the western competition, there should be no doubt whatsoever that the once free market turned single supplier, shall remain cheap and accessible to all who seek its treasures.

No doubt, whatsoever.

If building is not your thing, other opportunities exist for the keen eyed entrepreneur. Perhaps the human organ market? The child trafficking trade? Or even cyber warfare and theft of intellectual property. The opportunities afforded by this great magnanimous torch bearer for global cooperation are limitless.

That’s what it’s all about, after all. Taking care of the consumer.

Despite reports of coal fired power stations closing, China is still burning almost as much as the rest of the world combined. Economic activists in western inner cities can rest easy knowing their own energy prices are skyrocketing, thus aiding the exodus of industry and middle class lifestyle to the eastern superstate.

You’ve no need to worry about pesky “populists” standing in the way of Chinese led progress, as numerous government figures around the world enjoy having small gratuities paid. It would be naive to assume this to be some form of corruption, despite the Chinese government admitting it battles underhanded self interest on a wide scale within its own ranks. Think of it as a bookkeeping fee. Western politicians are busy spruiking the benefits of a communist led economic growth, so a little creative number crunching from time to time is to be expected.

This is a global community drive in action. This is harmony and progress.

Of course, each progressive, ‘fair’ minded socialist student, educated in the finest western universities, will praise Chinese efforts to turn social media into a sprawling safe space of non offense. Not to mention the rewards awaiting good little comrades via the social media ranking system, providing opportunities for the apparatchik most in line with party thought. Recent announcements regarding a Chinese media stalwart’s intentions of purchasing a bigger slice of Hollywood, gives warm encouragement to those hopeful of more blockbuster masterpieces along the lines of feminist Ghostbusters, and the new film depicting Donald Trump as an evil dictator, who is stopped by the heroic forces of China’s empathetic regime.

In today’s so called ‘global community’, one need not move behind the paper lantern curtain in order to enjoy the proletariat experience. Recent Chinese economic expansion into the Pacific, Europe, and Africa, means your new global leaders are prepared to bring utopia to you, in exchange for giving up industrial and economic independence, of course.

Give a little, get a little.

If that’s not enough, the Chinese military continue their expansion into the South China Sea, creating new islands armed with missile placements.

Protecting the peace, no doubt.

Sometimes the best way to defend one’s territory is from within the territory of somebody else. Who could argue with such logic? Certainly not the UN. They tried, and China ignored them.

That’s the stuff global leadership is made of.

To be fair to President Jinping, he did at least pay some lip service to those unfortunate souls yet to be bathed in the milk of human kindness that is globalisation. Those poor, wretched throw backs, yet to enjoy the fruits of economic prosperity. Whether or not he was referring to the deplorable Trumpians and Brexiteers is unknown, but said deplorable’s should take heart in knowing that almost half of the Chinese population living in the north, struggles for access to clean drinking water. So at very least, the country poised to take over as global leader, providing political, cultural and economic justice for all, is still more concerned with foreign proles seeking a return of their sovereignty, than its own citizens just up the road.

Western entitlement never felt so good.

With such a shining example provided from arguably one of the most nationalistic and protectionist countries on Earth, perhaps the most brutal regime that has ever existed, responsible for the death of around 60 million of its own citizens, who better to lead the moral charge against western protectionism and nationalism, toward a globalist utopia where all are treated with justice and respect?