A series of articles presenting my ideas, as a ‘modern’ Christian woman in her early twenties. As you can probably guess from the title, I will be analysing the inner workings of the modern women and how it affects our societies, individuals and family life.

 

Part two: Mothers who choose work over child rearing.

 

For some mothers, it is necessary for them to try to balance work and raising their children. I’m not denouncing that in the slightest and would just like to say that I am not attacking those women. I am challenging the mothers who are fortune enough to not have to work, and choose a career over caring for their children.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development conducted a study that found that children who spent more time in day-care/nurseries have higher levels of stress and aggression. It also showed that these affects continued through childhood and even into adolescence.

 

I believe that due to our society’s positive attitude towards the working women, the stay at home mother has been cast aside as ‘lazy’ and unnecessary. This has led to the childcare industry becoming an expensive and competitive industry.

Furthermore, by my own observation, it almost feels like the roles have been reversed. At one point in time working mothers were seen as a taboo and something to be ashamed of. Now it feels like those negatives have been passed onto stay at home mothers.

 

By no means am I saying that we need to shame working mothers and make them seem like monsters. I think that the problem is lead by societal pressures that the modern woman feels. As a young women myself I feel an immense pressure to be feverishly ambitious and marry my work.

Of course I want to do well and progress in my career, but when I disclose to someone that I don’t want to become a CEO because I would ideally like to be a stay at home mother by 27, I am given a raised eyebrow and told I’m ‘stuck in the past’.

 

The bottom line is that mothers are the most influential person in a new baby’s life while they develop core skills and knowledge. This is why it is so fundamentally important for mothers to spend as much time as possible with their little ones. Yes, I suppose you could argue that maternity leave is just for this reason, of bonding. But that is only at maximum a year.

 

My personal belief is that women have lost the importance of early motherhood and how critical it is to their baby’s life. {Reference to earlier in this article, where I gave examples of studies that have shown the negative effects of having an absent mother}

 

We need to stop pressuring women to choose career over motherhood.

 

The fact is that very few women are able to properly balance being (for example) a CEO and being an involved mother. Because one or both of these duties will slip and it may become a choice of having to choose one over the other. And honestly, I don’t have much faith that the modern women would choose motherhood over a pantsuit and an assistant handing her a bagel.

‘‘But TONS of women balance work life and being a mother!’’

I think that the key word in this argument is ‘balance’. And I think the honest truth that we are all afraid to say at the expense of being called a ‘women hater’ or a ‘bigot’ is that there is no balance. If you look closely, these women are burnt out. They are overworked, highly stressed and are not able to carry out their professional and maternal duties effectively.

We need to stop glamorising the ‘working mother’ like they do in Hollywood – because what working mother do you know that actually has time to go to the gym and manages to drop their kids off in the morning?

 

 

It’s your choice, ladies.